2nd response: Though it's impossible to generalize, I think if I was the guy in this situation, I'd tell my partner, Hey, forget about orgasms tonight; it's not a big deal. And I'd gently massage and caress her non-sexually for a good long time before anything overtly sexual happened. I think this could work because once you stop thinking about orgasm, and get your whole body into a completely relaxed state, the orgasm might just become a possibility. Or not. And it's okay.